Relationship Mistake: Living together before marriage is a bad idea
Posted on 30. Mar, 2010 by Chris in Archive, Realtionships
In this day and age relationship standards aren’t what they used to be. Guys aren’t always the one asking for a date, women don’t wait by the phone for a call, and couples don’t wait until marriage to live together. Now, just cause couples live together before they are married, does it mean it’s a good idea? We asked 1,000 guys, do you prefer to live with a woman prior to marriage?
Lo and behold, 68% of guys say they prefer to live with a woman before they get married. The reasons behind it are pretty similar among all guys.
“Yes, to get to know her and to experience daily life with her. Just because we click doesn’t mean we can survive each other 24/7.” – Daniel, 23
“Yes. You get a better idea of who each person is. You get to experience how they are on bad mornings, good days, how they can handle issues their whole personality and their way of living. Things can be covered up very easy and be very disturbing once revealed.” – Fred, 36
“It might be advisable to try living with one another prior to marriage as it presents an opportunity to test the relationship in a very intimate context without actually being married.” – Jake, 30
Now, for the other 32%…some guys (26%) say they want to wait until marriage to live together. The reasons on why guys feel you should wait to live together vary between guys.
“No I will not prefer to live with a woman because we loss the excitement and attraction between them if we live together.” – Navidhesh, 42
“No, because that makes the life boring after marriage” – Pan, 26
“No, because according to our culture it is not good.” – Renjith, 26
The other 6% of guys were indifferent and don’t think it matters either way. Times change ladies and if you want to test the waters before marriage then you should live together first, but if you are up for the surprise of living together, then wait until you are married to find out each other’s quirks.
I agree strongly with the 68%. Spending a lot of time together and “knowing everything about your partner” is entirely different from seeing them in action day after day. When you live with someone, they can’t hide anymore and the ugly or not so ugly truths come out. You see their habits, likes, dislikes, etc and you get a better feel for what you’re getting into. Why would you want to get married to then find out that that person you thought you loved was a slob or a clean freak, of anything that just really drives you or them crazy to the point that you just can’t deal with each other?
I agree wit both explaination. Living wit a up man its better coz we can learn bout each other. And knowing bout each likes and dislike. On d other side explaination is oso truth guys easily gets bored after 3/6 months of dating. So wat I could say its just go wit d flow and hve lotsa couples outing wit friends..
I think its nice to get to know people before marriage, but studies show people who live together before marriage have a higher devorse rate.
Sometime I will have to read more of your posts, this is something worthwhile
I’ve been dating a guy for almost a year (at the end of the month) and after about 6-7 mos we were sort of forced into a situation where we had to live together. I.already wanted to live with him because we pretty much already lived together. We slept at each others place almost every single night. That being said, I still didn’t think he was ready. In the beginning I moved in with him and he seemed to really enjoy it. He even said to me “see you thought I wasn’t ready, but I love living with you. I love coming hone from work n you’re here so I don’t have to come over or wait for you. I love going to sleep/waking up with you!” Then after 2-3 mos of living together(& gettin our own place) we started to argue a lot. But it seemed like he was the one starting arguments over things he really shouldn’t be that upset about. He eventually said we needed to break up but he didn’t want me to move out. I did decide to move out after 2 mos of him going back n forth between he loves me/loves me not. Now we still talk and see eachother, more & more recently and things seemed to be going well; but when I told him I wanted to say I love you again he said he wasn’t ready to say it! I don’t know what he’s scared of or if he just wants me around for fun. I really love him n want to be back where we used to be but I’m starting to consider just walking away from this. I really need a guys advice, or anyone’s really! Please help.