Communication Mistake: Guys are as self conscious about their looks as women.
Posted on 05. Mar, 2010 by Chris in Archive, Communication
Looks. Most women are obsessed about them and make sure they are always looking their best. Ask most women and unless you find an extremely confident woman, most women are self conscious about their looks. But are guys as worried about looks? We asked 1,000 guys, are guys as self-conscious as women when it comes to how they look?
The results are in and it’s a 50/50 split. First let’s take at look at what the super confident guy thinks.
“I wouldn’t say that many men are as self-conscious as women. Part of that is society drills ideas into women’s heads that they need to be perfect and pretty, whereas that idea isn’t portrayed onto men as much. Sure, we’d all like to look like hunks with six-pack abs, but we generally don’t fret about our looks or lack of physique. With that said, most men are not as self-conscious as women, but there are some really self-conscious men out there.” – Age: 21
“NO! Yes, we do care about how we look, especially as we get older and our belly might get bigger or we might lose our hair. But, we have priorities and how we look isn’t in the top few. It does drive us crazy though having to constantly reassure the women in our lives that they are still beautiful.” – Age: 45
“No. Most men aren’t nearly as worried about the way they look, while we might spend a few minutes in the morning shaving our beards or putting on deodorant you’ll never find a man that understands what all of the different types of makeup women have are actually for.” – Age: 22
Now not every guy is that confident to not be worried about their looks. Here’s a take on guys that are aware of their looks.
“Definitely. Every sensible man will be self-conscious, just like women folk, about how he looks and how he presents himself to others, the first impression being the best impression. But men are clever to hide their excitement towards how they look, unlike women.” – Age: 49
“Yes, men can be as self conscious as women. It depends on the circumstance. If men are in a competitive social situation (at a bar, for example), they are easily as self-conscious as women. I think the competitive nature of most men means that they will generally be more self-conscious about their looks, always comparing to other guys.” – Age: 40
“Not all men are self conscious but there are many that are. The more experience they have the less it usually bothers them. For men who are looking for that one wonderful girl you can bet they are very conscious of their looks as they want the girl to find him attractive. To men looks matter to majority of attractive women and in order to get the best out there we need to look our best.“ – Age: 36
So, while the results are a toss up on whether or not guys are self conscious about their looks, I can guarantee you that even though they might not be self conscious, they are definitely aware of their looks.
Communication Mistake: When I’m talking, guys aren’t listening.
Posted on 24. Feb, 2010 by Chris in Archive, Communication
What’s the question that all women think they know the answer to, but deep down really want to know if they are right? Well, women wanted to know, when women are talking, are guys really listening to them or thinking about something completely different?
Most women probably think that guys go into Peanuts teacher mode when you start talking, you know, “whan, whan, whan, whan , whan, whan”, but actually the majority of guys (46%) say it depends. And just to even out the numbers only 18% said they do not listen and 36% say they do listen to you.
That really depends on whether the woman is talking about something interesting. If its something that the guy doesn’t care about—such as makeup, or gossip, etc—then any listening will likely be faked. In general, though, I would think most women would be able to tell whether their partner is really listening or not, through body language and time spend with the person. – Age: 24
Depends upon the situation. Most women want to discuss everything from what they did today while you are apart to how bad someone treated someone else. Men on the other hand tend to keep everything inside and don’t talk much about it, We will “pretend to listen” just so you can get it off of your chest when it comes to unimportant things like “bobby sue ran around on her boyfriend and got caught” we could care less, But on the other hand, “this Phone bill is 3 days late and we need to pay it” you have our attention…. – Age: 40
We’re listening AND thinking about something completely different. We figure we can get the content quickly enough because you repeat yourselves a lot. So we use the time you’re spending repeating yourself or going into tremendous obsessive detail by solving some other problems and attending to the emotional tone of what you’re saying. We pay a lot of attention to the emotional tone. If you’re sad, mad, anxious, or happy, we really care about that. The words are often a lot less important, once we know the gist. – Age: 61
So, while the “it depends” number is almost half, it’s usually up to what you are talking about for a guy to really listen. If you go on and on about shopping or what someone did to someone else at the office, yeah, guys are going to drift off. Sorry, it’s just not interesting to guys. But when it comes down to the really important stuff, guys are all ears and there for you.
