Dating Mistake: Dating a guy that might or might not be married.
Posted on 30. Jun, 2010 by Chris in Archive, Dating
You meet a guy, you two hit it off, and he says he’s single, but is he really? We asked 1,000 guys, how can a woman truly tell if a guy is married or not?
The majority of men (48%) say his behavior will give him away. Does he act nervous? Does he make plans in advance? What other things little things throw off warning signals…
“If he always has to be home at a certain time and never takes you to his house or to meet his friends. Those are signs that a woman is just a fling on the side.” – Antonio, 25
“Aside from the obvious ring, does he frequently make phone calls away from you? He may not be married per se but may be involved with someone else or something that he does not want you to find out about.” – Brad, 25
“Time, time and time. Married life is very time consuming and normally requires weekends, evenings and holidays. If the man is avoiding those times with you, it means he has something else to do and that something is usually his family.” – JC, 45
Other ways to tell is to just go to his house unexpectedly. 22% of guys say this is the best way to figure out if a guy is hiding something. However, be prepared to come off as a bit of a stalker if you are staking out your guy or following him home.
“Follow him to his home and conduct adequate surveillance to make this determination if you absolutely must be certain about a man’s marital status; that is if you can’t trust what he says.” – Jay, 30
“Visit his home on several occasions and at different times of the day.” – Edward, 27
When reading the signs doesn’t work and stalking just isn’t up your alley you can be upfront about it and ask him (14% of guys say this is the way to go) or check for the obvious ring tan line (10% of guys say this is the way to tell).
“By asking him directly and hoping for the best.” – Justin, 30
“If he tries to hide his ring finger, he is married.” – Jeff, 25
Ladies, it’s really up to you to figure out the best way to find out if a guy is married. If you think he is, maybe the best bet is to just walk away because if you don’t trust him now, how will you be a couple months or years down the road.
Dating Mistake: You and a guy totally click, but it takes him forever to contact you again, yet you still keep giving him chances
Posted on 04. Jun, 2010 by Chris in Archive, Dating
So say you meet a guy on an online dating site, you guys totally click and by date three move to the next level (sex…just to clarify). While he still seems interested, it’s been taking him weeks to contact you again, what do you do? Is the connection a strong enough reason to keep giving him a chance? Or is it time to cut your losses and move on?
We asked 1,000 guys what they think and surprisingly (or not) 56% say you should let him go and move on.
“She should go. Obviously he isn’t all that interested if it takes him up to 3 weeks to follow through with their plans. Not saying having sex on the 3rd date is a bad thing but she should have held out a little longer. She should definitely not fight for this guy. If he’s worth fighting for he’ll fight for her.” – Paul, 43
“Sounds like he has something else going on. No point in hanging around, perhaps give him an ultimatum and then gauge his response. Or, just come out and ask him about his intentions. It is definitely time to get ready to possibly walk away if you are unable to deal with him in this capacity.” – Jon, 32
26% of guys think that you should keep trying.
“She could try being more patient and let nature take its course. After 3 dates she shouldn’t be expecting him to buy her a ring. She may want to think about the effects of sleeping men she meets on the internet more carefully.” – Matt, 27
“Are you really that desperate for a relationship, love, marriage, children, and life that you base a breakup on a guy going slow? Come on, cut some slack! Did you have a good time? Was the sex fun? Does he have potential? If yes, keep dating the guy and ENJOY IT. If it works fine, if not that’s fine too. You’re 20…it’s not like you have biological clock ticking. Dating is supposed to be fun, not a job interview.” – John, 45
And last but not least; 18% of guys think you should talk to him before making any decision.
“She should try another time, talk to him seriously and if he is not serious, she should go” – Henri, 29
“I think what she should do is talk to the guy if he really wants him. Don’t put yourself in a position where you just assume that the guy is serious with you or not. Be open and honest with the guy about how he feels about you and if he sees a relationship with you.” – Joseph, 32
Bottom line it’s really up to you to decide if the connection is strong enough to stay around, but maybe in the future, even if you click, you should hold out a little longer to move to the next step.
Dating Mistake: Men don’t expect sex
Posted on 04. Mar, 2010 by Chris in Archive, Dating
Men have sex on the brain; it’s just the way we’re programmed. No use hiding the obvious. So, when we asked 1,000 guys, after how many dates would you EXPECT to have sex with a woman you are seeing? Is it any surprise that 42% of guys say that they expect sex within 3 dates?
The reasons varied a bit as to why they felt that way:
“Three. I think by that time you’re ready to gauge the physical attraction and relevance in the relationship by that point.”
“3 because it should take that long to get to know each other better.”
Not all guys felt that it takes 3 dates, some think it takes longer (4 dates) and some say it takes less (first date).
“It depends on how the night goes and if there is an attraction. I’ve done it on the first date if she’s open to it. I never “expect” to get it though.”
“4 Because this gives me time to get to know what kind of person she is. I don’t like to date women that go to fast. (There is no telling what they have.)”
Even though guys are mainly driven by sex, don’t go into a date assuming that’s all they want. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open and try to get an understanding of what his expectations are (whether they be friendship, companionship or sex).
